Saturday, September 24, 2016

Me; A Misread Alphabet

I'm a misread alphabet that was drowned down in the valley.
I called for help and looked around whether someone could help me out. But no one did..
I was left half-dead in the midst of the river.
I was left sobbing because of my craziness..

I cursed the 'Moment' that I was drowned.
Because I never knew whom to curse!
Whether it's myself or the moment!

I never had the option of re-fixing the moment.
If I could, I might have already fixed it.
I cried out loud, not for the reason that I'm gonna die..
I cried for the reason that I was frenzy..
I cried for the reason that I was stupid for the moment.
I wished to erase that moment from my life.
But what was 'Done' cannot be taken back..
Just like the words could break a heart,
Just like a stone could split the still water in the well,
I was ruined with my own frenzies.

Deep down in the midst of valley, I still lie,
Waiting for the hands to help me out.
I wish if someone could console me
And help me out to believe in myself
And to say everything is gonna be alright!

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Best days with my Buddies

It's true, we were strangers when we met. The 21 days of camp started with no much expectations. Well, I was sure of one thing that I'll get to know new peoples. I was happy that one of my friend also joins me in the camp. So that was a relief for me. I had seen many of them at registration counter and had made an assumption on everyone, how their character would be like, what will be their personality like based on their looks and appearance. I get along with all of them without any prejudices. I get to know each of them when I was forced to do various tasks and activities along with them during the camp. The camp was interesting and I started to enjoy it along with my new mates. I got to know how I'm like through their eyes. I tried to improve myself as a good person. The camp boosted me up. I was confident, but the camp helped me to achieve something more. I got to know my mates and began to study from them. Together we had lot of new ideas, new mode of thinking. Together we were one. We cracked jokes, teased everyone, appreciated everyone, boosted up everyone.
      We had many activities, many leaders in a single group, many ideas to be established in a single activity. Eventhough we had conflicts in our thoughts and ideas we made sure that we settle it down before we finish up our activities. We had skits and funny role plays to do. We were confused at times, tensed due to the strict timings during the activities. Our pleads to our respected trainers to allot more time was fun. We joined our hands to win over the other group. Looking into others group, sneaking in and analysing, comparing ours with them was also the part of fun. ( I remember how Kiran sneaked in our group to collect paper pieces while making collage and news presentation. Running to other batches to collect materials, signs, shawl etc.). The presents given to the winning team towards the end of the game was fun, specially those ice creams, sweets, munch and all.. And the most interesting part of it is, eventhough the winners didn't get anything to eat, all the other group members make sure that they grab it all. We discussed on many issues. The topics of discussions during the class hours were even a matter of discussion in canteens too. The funs we had in canteen, the claims we made on the food, embarrassment we had when the 'time alert' was given by our one and only 'Time Bomb' were all the moments to cherish. I do remember one of those happiest moment, the day when we were all taken out to have non veg was like reaching the top of Mount Everest. We all ate it up greedily like a beggar. Our attempts to have extra Ice creams, and extra pappadam, and extra cup of tea, coffee and pazhampori, the relaxation we had in the seminar hall under the Ac during the scalding climate, the repeated version of 'Sorries', the confused 'treasure hunts' and funny flopped 'Shiva challenges', the songs we sang in the bus during our trip, the tensions we had during the exams, and ofcourse the anger we had to our IT sir, (specially the anger of Aparana, that made her hit all others except Ajay sir) were all real fun. The escort of Subin and his seriousness remembers me of Dileep in the film Body Guard. His commands like 'Girls, get into the bus!' sounded the same. Among all, we will miss the computer lab the most. Specially the classes of the teacher. I remember how we played videos, logged into fb, listened to songs, slept during those class hours.
  We were having our own faults, our own weakness and our own drawbacks. But we were not conscious about those feebleness because we were surrounded by very good friends who were not bothered about it. The most beautiful thing that I had seen in all of us is, everyone of us highlighted the positives of others and not negatives. Each of us extended our hands of encouragement to make us believe in ourselves. They were many to support, to encourage and to say everything will be alright and to make us smile when we were down. And indeed, the hugging class given by Deepa mam was effective during these times. (I remember how curious Anandhu was to hug all, specially girls) I believe, it was a platform for all of us to improve. And yes, it was..! We realised many of our hidden calibre during the camp. We were refreshed and renewed with new thoughts towards the end of it. The birthday celebrations, celebration of wedding anniversary of Preethi miss, snatching of big pieces of cakes, selfies the cultural programs all were superb.. The days of practice was funny and the Charlie bear dance too. The mistakes we made during the programs were the highlight of the show. The rain, van, canteen.. and the last supper.. tears in the eyes, that feeling of missing.. everything was expressed in everyone's face. It was sure that everyone of us will miss each nook and corner of Adi Shankara engineering College. Those days with you guys were really awesome you know. I never thought that I could make this strong bond with all of you within this short period of time. Even 3 years of my college life ain't helped me to know people this deep and close. Eventhough the camp was for 21 days which was a long duration for me at first, later it seems to get shortened. Twenty one days gives me good memories to cherish over 21 years and days passed so fast that I was so late to know that it's all over. I miss you guys. Miss you very badly!

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Letting U know, U means a lot to me.

Like a small little rain drop
That flows to the tip of the leaf,
You followed me till when I notice
I saw you, flowing down from the tip
You were about to touch the earth..
I hold you in my hands,
And saw you shining in the sunlight.
You were more brighter,
when you were in my hands.
I hold you carefully not to lose you.
I loosen my grip, hold you lose
Maintaining a safe space.

At other times, You are like a balloon
That I love most to play with.
I blow you hard and let the air in.
I always take good care,
Not to blow much to burst you out.
I blow you to the medium,
Where I can have you for a long.
I wanted you to stay with me, as long as you could.
But I know, one day life will takes its turn..
I know, life will chase you away from me
I know, I'll miss you one day..
But right now, I choose to play with you..
As long as I can..

Friday, January 15, 2016

That feel that you could sense

You; The vampire in my dreams!

Being safe under dead leaf

Stop bewildering me with your signs.
Sometimes they say, you loves me.
At other times, they says you don't.
You drops clues for me to follow you
Through the sands, rocks, valleys and hills
That you often walk through
With no reasons to forward, me too follow-on you.
It's hard to explain how I feel when I'm chased,
By someone that I've predilection.

It's a feeling that makes me feel so good
And you always makes me feel that way 
What makes you to turn a blind eye?
And you stay idle like you ain't done anything
After pulling me down to the stream of love
Finally making me to drench in it 
You baffles me and drives me crazy
Telling me, that you likes crazy me
While I'm badly driven lunatic
Like I have never been before
What's that you want from me?

I was a charcoal that was hidden by the dead leaf
Unseen by anyone in my safe zone
What makes the wind blew so hard
To wipe away those leafs
Leaving me insecure from my safe zone
Eventually making you to notice me
With all my feebleness
Leaving me in chaos
I'm in search for a place to hide
Far away from you where you can't reach me.
I'm in trouble struggling to defence myself from you
Albeit I love being with you.
Thou makes me feel secure and insecure at a time
I loose my 'self' in me which I was so sure once
I'm flayed, of being changed to someone else
I'm struggling deterring myself from being into you

Don't know where it ends.
Life is a struggle to outlive the hardships of life
Ignoring the facts of being chased.
Putting on a mask, alienating yourself from you.
And walking back to the past that you were in before
To the safe zone under the dead leaf, Messing it up..